For the last two weeks, we have been talking about transforming our writing by adding our personal stories, feelings, and experiences. As a final product, each students wrote an Ode poem about something in nature, someone they love, or something that they feel very strongly about.
Here are some of the other writing techniques that the students said would make their poetry writing even better:
> proper conventions – spelling, grammar, punctuation, capitalization
> details – descriptive words, 5 senses, good word choice
> Interesting
> Focused on one topic
> Shares Evokes emotion
> Figurative language – metaphor and simile
> Onomatopoeia
> Alliteration
We are proud to share our odes with you! Enjoy!
Ode To Horses
Whoosh! Thundering hooves
A wind filled gust
Crushing the plants
Kicking up dust
Onto a golden coat
The sun casts a golden glow
The coat shines very bright
And has a beautiful flow
A black coat
Can be very sneaky
And in the day
They might be sleepy
Some chocolate horses
Love the mud
It is not fun because
They have to take a bath when they are done
A white horse looks
Like it is covered in snow
Sometimes they have
To plow the snow, though
As they stop to
Munch on grass
They crush the grass
They have so much mass
They also roam
To find some water
They step on in
And it makes their coat softer
Streaming mane
Flying tail
Traveling through
A rainy veil
Sometimes-(It’s true)-
They get captured
And the people
Force them in the trailer backward
The leaders are the stallion
And the lead mare
There are also a few foals
And a bunch of mares
Some are domesticated
Some are free
Every horse wants
To be free, you see
Du, The valley, du, echo’s, du
With thundering
hoo-du-ves as, du, horses, du
go gall-du-ping
As the horses run
The wind can’t even
Keep up with them
As they run with their herds of more than 11
The palomino
With it’s sunny coat
Flashes by
With a winter coat
The appaloosa
With it’s dots
Can blend in
To some things with those spots
Arabian colors
are mostly white
I like to call them
White knights
The bay is usually a
Beautiful brown
Because of their color
They are run down
Greys are grey
No matter what goes
But sometimes they
Have a dappled coat
Now you can see
How marvelous horses are
They are my favorite animal
By far
http://vocaroo.com/?media=v28o8S7ToAhxeEF2f
Ber143 ,I loved it. It was the best i’ve read. I liked how you rhymed & discribe the diferent types of colors of the horses & compared them to somehting or tell what they did.
Earth Ode
Not a valley or a tree
It’s teeming with life you see.
Rabbits hopping one by one.
Wolfs hunting in the morning sun.
Gracefull birds dancing in the tree.
Or a bear with disgrace and creed.
Over the creek theirs a montain.
But you might just go arround it.
At night youll hear a creepy howl.
Youl maybe think its an owl.
Its earth you see not a valley or a tree.
It’s for you and me.
http://vocaroo.com/?media=vuQZnAxmcsEnFkcte
hey typer57! Your blog is wonderful. I like how you were able to rhyme this because you have these very descriptive words that are kind of hard to rhyme. The effort you put in to this was a very strong and I loved it.
Typer57, wow that was amazing.
I absolutely loved the description you used, like the part when you said graceful birds dancing in the tree! Great job. You used quality word choice. Great job!
I love how you use earth as a subgoct. It goes to gather like a buterfly with its wings.I like how you use humans and anamals.
Any way good luck with the next Ode!!!!!!!!!
http://vocaroo.com/?media=vVZyAuA3MI0iyrOzq
Winnie the Cat
When Winnie my cat walked down the hall,
I would hear the pitter patter.
Each and every night Winnie would,
Crawl up next to me on my bed.
Winnie would wake me up with her fuzzy tail,
Swaying in my face. Her tail tickled my nose.
I can still feel her soft gentle,
Hair against my body.
In pictures I see,
My little face shine a bright smile.
With Winnie right next to my side.
Winnie was my best friend.
Winnie was part of my family.
Even though we don’t have her with us,
I still have memories.
I loved your poem! It has a personal and emotional feel to it, and I love that you included a pet. Great poem!
I love how you used so many descriptive words at one time. It made your poem so amazing! I especially love the last part!
We do have great memories about Winnie. Abby and Andrew can not replace Winnie, but we are having great times with them. Love ya lots, Mom
http://vocaroo.com/?media=v4h66wlDe5yskGEta
Mustang Ode Poem
Slick &
Fast & furious
That’s the way I see you,
Racing across the medow,
Trying to beat the moon.
With your bright thinking,
You dodge rocks & trees,
Along with
A wolf right at your side,
But when your hooves
Trembled like thunder
The wolf darts off.
You froze,
The race with the moon,
& Played tag with the wolf.
With you at his heels,
He trembles with fear,
Barely staggering along.
Once the wolf was out of sight,
You went right back
With the game of case
With the moon.
Hey, that was my favorite ode. I loved how you describe the race of the moon.
I love how they are playing chase with the moon and tag with the wolf.
http://vocaroo.com/?media=vhFGKosktUJBESc5h
Water: An Ode
The water rushes and races.
The little otters go along with the current.
The children splash and thrash around in the rocks.
The fish swim and jump in the crystal clear water.
The powerful water pelts rock sand against the land.
The clean water drips off the children the sun sets on the river.
http://vocaroo.com/?media=vVCplSh28ss2bcnVu
Book
Immersed in the pages, o book, o book
Belching phrases, o book, o book
Conjuring up images, o book, o book
Obsessed in the story, o book, o book
I recoil in fear, o book, o book
When creepy things come, o book, o book
The smell of old pages, o book, o book
Reaches my nose, o book, o book
An adventurous story, o book, o book
Perilous predicaments, o book, o book
I flip through the pages, o book, o book
Before my eyes, time flies
http://vocaroo.com/?media=vrNVO1RX15pk1SCCP
Roller coasters
Roller coasters tall and fast they feel like a blast.
Launched like the speed of light with a huge flight.
Suspended swinging back and forth.
They are strange and weird.
I love the inverted flips and turns.
Steel coasters are the best of all the rest.
They smell taste and feel like the sour wind.
The looks are vibrant and the coaster is loud.
That is why I love roller coasters.
Your ode is ARSOME! I love your descriptions and word like inverted and vibrant.
~ Typer57
it was awsome
Carley needs to post hers i love it
Space
Space, Space, fast and free
You’ll be awed by the beauty
Secrets held and secrets hold
Space- Mysterious, dark and bold
Asteroids zipping all around
They clash, a big booming sound
Planets, planets, bleak and cold
Unexplored and truly old
Stars twinkling all the time
Tiny suns that freely shine
Delicate rings surrounding Saturn
Make a sleek and rhythmic pattern
Gradually, the lights go out
Here comes the sun, there is no doubt
Close you eyes and you will see
Space’s natural and exotic beauty
Whoops! I forgot the little link thing!
http://vocaroo.com/?media=vxcY2rgw2u7PpKsGj
Okay. That one was really fuzzy, so here’s a new one. Hopefully it’s better.
http://vocaroo.com/?media=vrOiRQFQQXLUf76ty
I like your Space poem because it has so much description and great vocabulary. And , even with all the good writing, you got it to rhyme, which is a huge plus. I think your poem is truly awesome.
Shadow
eepka,
I could see space when you said Space, Space fast and free. I could hear a booming noise when you described the sound. I LOVE THE BEAUTY OF SPACE!
Soccer
Kids running and playing
Yelling laughing and tiring
Parents cheering us on
Whoohoo the ball goes into the net
The referee whistles
It”s time for a break
We go to drink water
Our breathes very heavy
Then get back on the field
All sweaty and excited
We’re jumping with joy
Enjoying what we’re doing
Like a pack of cheetahs
Running to it’s prey
We now have possession
The referee whistles again
We are on our last break
It’s tied 2 to 2
Aiming to get a goal
I kick
My most powerful ever
It blows in the net
The goalie is shocked
We scream
The crowd is cheering
We did it
We won
http://vocaroo.com/?media=vZEimHTQs48EFTTb1
I play soccer to. I play on a travel team.
Hey! I just thought of a new poem!
Water
Rushing over smooth stones
Turning and churning over bends
Thundering falls clawing at rocks
Beautiful lakes full and clear
Twisting rivers and running streams
Algae and lilly pads float along
Singing a song, the turtles paddle
Rainbow trout swim upstream
Banks and shores, smooth and clean
Natural caves are mysterious
Fresh water, salt water, still the same
Water is frothing white
Fantastic swimmers, the fish play
Fantastic hoppers, the frogs jump
Fantastic divers, the loons hunt
Fantastic water, the water sits
http://vocaroo.com/?media=vslqWEfpWNmWvJ57S
Math
Addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division
Are just the basics of math.
Algebra, variables, squares, and cubes
Are just some much harder facts.
Competitive mathmeticians will thrive
In calculus too.
As you can see, math is a very important
Thing to do.
Wow. Nice!
Thanks. 🙂 Your’s was cool too.
I like your because it is what you enjoy doing and you understand what you are saying.
Great job Arjun! I liked how you made it about something you love and all the math words you used. Awesome! 🙂
http://vocaroo.com/?media=v5oNpZAfxcjU2U2lm
Sorry, there’s a long pause in the beginning.
I think.
Hope you guys like it.
Family
Compassionate,affectionate,radiant
family is always there
Your parents tuck you into bed
your younger siblings wants to play
On Thanksgiving everyone says they are thankful they have you and on Christmas everyone says they are thankful they have you and then on Christmas the treeis overflowing with presents
Even though you already no they say it everyday “Your special and I love you.” you say “I love you, too.”
You wonder why they say it everysingle day but it doent matter because it’s true that they love you and you lovethem too
Link :
http://vocaroo.com/?media=vrV9IYBZCJeTTyuYA
Hope you like it 🙂 🙂 🙂
~See ya, people of MEA
My Aunt
My aunt so strong and brave
As she sits in her car
With her precious baby
WHOOSH
Someone pulls straight out in front of her
Her car flipping over and over
The baby screaming
She’s screaming
She’s thinking, whats going on?
It’s all a dream?
NO IT’S NOT
She hears the sirens coming closer
It’s ok she explained to her baby
They get out of the car
She’s so dizzy
Both of my aunts arms, completely broken
Not even a scratch on the baby
My aunt so strong and brave
Man! That must have hurt. I like your poem
Wow! That’s a great poem, even though it’s very sad. Like the other poem I commented on, I loved the way you used something emotional to make your poem amazing. I enjoyed all the descriptive words and how it felt powerful. You did a great job and I loved reading this poem.
I love the details in this ode it makes me feel like i saw the hole thing it is very sad but makes me happy at the same time. You did a great job it was amazing.
Soccer
Physical and sweaty
Lot of running
Very tiring
Fun
Heart racing
Sweat dripping
Kicking and slid tackling
Drinking Gatorade
Rubbing ice allover
Getting back on the field
Defending the attacker
Faking out the defenders
Nervous and Shoots
In the top corner nervous not to score
Scoring and celebrating
Winning 1-0
Celebrating with a trophy
Winning the tournament
Tacking off cleats
Than putting on Crocs
Relaxing in the car on the way home
Starving
Getting McDonalds after
Feeling refreshed
http://vocaroo.com/?media=vPh6QruuHbOKw3xNY
Joy fills throughout my body when I sacrifice my taste buds
The sour ones taste bitter the ripe ones taste sweet
When blueberries are frozen I feel a little tingling in my teeth blueberry’s also, taste like ice cream delicious and sweet
Blueberries remind me of when I wake up and see a bright blue sky shining in my eyes when I feel blueberry’s brighten up my mood
http://vocaroo.com/?media=v0I5Y0AQQS5CAZPEd
Small eggs from Salmon
Lay on the river bottom
When spring time approaches
Something wriggles
An eye appears
Then
POP!
Out comes a small salmon
The water is filled with baby salmon
Past the current
Past the falls
O no one more big one
And into the big blue
There they grow
Feeding on shrimp and krill
When they’re big they return
Up the river
Over the falls
And into the calm pool where they were born
They lay eggs and die.
But they did it to give life.
http://vocaroo.com/?media=vRHgPfmkR9gPOYjgd
I loved all of the poems. Great job everyone!
Thanks for being such an encouragement to your classmates!